Happiness

Ever look back on something in your past- maybe it was challenging, maybe it was run of the mill- and wish you'd just enjoyed it more? Sometimes I wish I could go back and just revel in past moments- find the joy and choose the happiness. I've got news. You can be happier everyday if you let yourself. I'm going to say it again.

Just let yourself be happier.

This very happy fellow in the picture above is my cousin Tyler. That is one happy kid, with a smile so bright it could knock the worry right out of you. He passed away 5 years ago in an accident at a rather epic family reunion. We watched as family members and paramedics fought to keep him with us. We all said a tearful goodbye before they turned off his machines. I've never been so utterly traumatized. It was also one of the most peaceful and reassuring times of my life. Tyler's parents, my Aunt Deb and Uncle Dave would probably say the same thing- times a million. Their hearts were torn open. Their pain was palpable, but so was their peace, their joy... their happiness. They had faith. They let it be. There was trust there, that this was an intricate part of their journey. They tapped into their divinity. They embodied their sorrow and their joy- let them coexist. They spread that peace like a balm over all of us. Deb and Dave drew us together in that tragedy and taught me an invaluable lesson that took me months and years to fully process. It was the beginning of a beautifully metamorphic journey for me. I think I will be learning from that instance for the rest of my life. You see, having a rough day, or even a tragic life-changing one, does not define who I am. I can feel frustration or pass through sadness without being them. The tough emotions don't cancel out all that is good in me and in my life.

I am coming to realize that my happiness is not contingent upon circumstance.

And that is freeing.