Let it

Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.”
Harvey MacKay

Monday, November 24, 2014

Home again

I went out.
Brian cut my PT sessions down to twice a week. When Wednesday rolled around and it was crazy busy, and I had been nurse, chauffeur, teacher, cook, secretary, and EVERYTHING all day long, I told Aaron I needed to go out and he agreed.  I put on my running clothes and my Garmin, and I tied up my shoes. I drove to one of my favorite nearby spots that I knew wasn't too technical and I started to walk. I walked on the brink of running, knowing I should be careful, knowing what my body needed and knowing that what my heart wanted would take over eventually. There was sunshine peeking through the clouds, and it was just me and dirt and freedom. It felt amazing. It felt like home.
 I made it to the spot where I had taken a picture on the very last trail run I did, the morning before my accident. I cried. If I'm being honest, I sobbed. But I didn't feel sad. I felt grateful. So so grateful to be there in that spot 4 months later on my own two feet, that I couldn't contain it. I stopped and took the same picture. The leaves are all dead. I missed the colors, but I didn't care. It was so beautiful to me.
Steed Creek

When I asked the doc when I'd get back to the trails, and he said "you might not", he didn't know what a soul is willing to go through to get home again.
I walked until I couldn't not run anymore, and then I gave my heart the lead for just a minute.
I ran.
With the goofiest grin on my face as the tears streamed unabashedly down my cold flushed cheeks.
There are no words for that feeling.
I am so grateful.

I still have a long way to go. But I'm going. And I'm grateful.

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